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Looking in the Mirror

A few days ago, I decided to go have a conversation with someone that I didn’t know very well. Part of the reason I don’t know them very well is because the few times I’ve interacted with them, I walk away feeling negative. They complain a lot, and they seem to think the world is against them. Those are two qualities that I don’t really like to be around. But, if you want to be a leader, you need to spend time with everyone and give everyone a chance. If you ever want to help someone improve, you can’t do it from a distance.

At a Crossroad

Have you ever had a day where you just aren’t sure how you should feel? You look at everything you have going on and it seems both equal parts positive and negative. About a month ago I was thinking back to when I graduated high school. I’ve talked about this before, but I wasn’t great in high school from an academic standpoint. After graduating it hit me that I was going to have to go to college. The big issue for me and college was that I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. The time came for me to sign up for classes,

The Wrong Questions

I’ve heard people say that if you aren’t getting the right answers, you must be asking the wrong questions. I’ve found that when I am struggling the most, I can’t seem to find any answers. So, it would make sense then that when I am making progress, I must have the right answers. I spend a lot of time thinking about being productive and what makes some people productive and other people not even really try. Most of the time I find myself in a world where things are nearly perfect. What would my life be like if I had the perfect job, and I was in perfect health?

30 Days Ago

A few weeks ago, after listening to a few things, I was thinking about where I wanted to be in a year from now. I didn’t spend a ton of time thinking about it, but the thoughts wouldn’t go away. I would think of something going on in my life and I would think about how I wanted that area to be better a year from now. This happened three or four times in about a week. Then one single thought came to me, “how can I be better at anything a year from now, when I don’t even know if I am better than I was thirty days ago”.

Which Building Will You Choose?

I heard a story a long time ago, I knew it was significant, but the older I get, the more significance I see in it. I think it goes well with everything I have said lately about what I want to see in leaders and what I don’t see in a lot of leaders today. We all want to quickly move to the top and collect our money and recognition. It’s tough during the process when we realize how long and tough that road can be. The way I remember the story was like this…

Setting Clear Expectations

In my last post, I made the comment that I don’t like how most leader's lead. I don’t think it’s right to make a comment like that and then never address is completely. I have a few issues that really drive me crazy, and it’s been on my mind lately because I heard someone address one of them in a way that I loved. I’ll start with the one that wasn’t addressed. It drives me crazy when we talk about number one priorities and then we list off five things.

One Minute of Weakness

I know that some people that I listen to aren’t for everyone. Some people have a specific area that they talk a lot about, and it doesn’t always make an impact on everyone. Other people though I really believe were made for everyone. One of those people is Gary Vaynerchuk, or as most people know him by, Gary Vee. He is very blunt, but also says things in a way that makes sense to everyone. If you ever need a little motivation, he’s your guy. Most of the time when I listen to him, he is in front of an audience, and people get to ask him questions.

Numbers vs. People part two

Ok, now where was I? It’s been a long week, but if I remember correctly, I was just about ready to go on a rant about how important people are. I know that numbers can be motivating, and I think they serve a purpose. But I think the gain is short-term unless you do something more. Anyone can have a good day or a great month, but what about six months down the road? What about when I’m tired or I don’t feel a hundred percent, what pushes me to do well on those days? I’ve heard people say that when people hear a speaker or they meet someone, it’s not what they say

Numbers vs. People part one

I love it when I know I am going to talk so much that I just call it part one from the start. I was thinking of doing an article on numbers, I was also thinking of doing an article that was a book review. I didn’t really like how either sounded by itself, so I decided to combine it and just make it a two part topic. I feel like I have talked about this multiple times on every platform possible. We live in a world of numbers; I want to live in a world of people. Those two worlds seem to be colliding with me lately. Everyone knows you have to have both, but what should the main focus be on?

The 15 Year Old Me Would be Proud

I think I’ve mentioned this multiple times, but I don’t really like to be told what to do. I’m sure some of it is a control issue. But I think a lot of it is just me wanting to see what I can do. If you said that I had to do something a certain way, I wanted to find a different way to get those results. That’s the kind of weird rebellious person I was. I still did what you asked for, but I did it my way. For the most part I think I am still that way. I want people to work together to get something done, but I want people to do it their way. In the end, as long as you are successful and you did it legally, why does it matter how?

Pizza Parties, Yearly Reviews, and 3%

One of my favorite employees put their two weeks’ notice in this week. Nothing I could do to stop it. Deep down I’m hoping for a miracle, or at least that they will come back at some point. Sometimes you can do everything you can, but in the end, it just doesn’t go the way you want. All of it has made me think a lot about how most places do business. One of the things that I am most proud of is that at the age of twenty, knowing I just didn’t want to do any more school, I got an entry level job and moved up.

A Time to Pause

Once again, I am going through one of those times where every single podcast I listen to makes me want to stop and think about what I am doing. I keep hearing answers to questions I have been asking or something that motivates me to keep moving forward. While thinking about everything that was going through my mind, I decided that I needed to take some time to just pause and reflect about where I’m at. If I added it up correctly, last week’s article was the eighty-fifth article that I have written for this site. Not a huge number, but a number I can be proud of.

It Takes a Village

I was driving to work the other night, and I was thinking about someone that I needed to check in with, for some reason that name brought to my mind a few other names. By the time I was done thinking about it, I was overwhelmed with the people in my life. It’s fun to talk about the importance of your five people. It’s interesting to talk about expanding that number to include the people you would put on your board or the people you would let sit at your table. But what about everybody else? I remember always hearing the quote “It takes a village to raise a child”.

The Circle of Death

I like to play a game when I am on social media. I don’t know when it started, but lately it seems to be happening a lot. Every time I see an article or a video about things that bad leaders or managers do, I read or watch it. I’m always looking for two things. First, they seem to always say something about micromanaging within the first two things that they mention. Second, they usually mention bad mouthing the people below you and being afraid to delegate. I find that all these things are related.

But I’m Afraid

“Come to the edge," he said. "I can't, I’m afraid!" she responded.

"Come to the edge," he said. "I can't, I will fall!" she responded.

"Come to the edge," he said. And so, I came. And he pushed me. And I flew.”

The Elephant in the Room

A few months back, some of the kids visited. It’s not uncommon for them to visit on a Sunday, we have a nice dinner and then catch up. While they were here, we somehow decided to play a game where we asked everyone this simple question, “If you could have any animal you wanted as an emotional support animal, what would you choose”? We had so much fun that I decided to ask other people what they would choose. From dragons to dogs, I felt like everyone had fun.

Quarterbacks & A Weird Question

Amazon got me again, they kept showing me an advertisement so many times, I finally had to watch the movie. It’s April, that means that the NFL draft will be coming up, Amazon knew this and so they kept showing me a movie from 2014, starring Kevin Costner. The name of the movie was Draft Day. It’s a movie all about the general manager of a struggling football team. The draft is coming up and he needs to make a big splash, or he will lose his job. He has an opportunity to trade up and take the best player in the draft.

Life’s Questions

The year was 1991, I was finally in high school, and I had my whole life in front of me. One of the biggest movies that year was City Slickers starring Billy Crystal. For years, I thought the movie was just a normal comedy about three friends who decided to go on an adventure to celebrate one of their birthdays. In the end, they had the time of their life, and they learned a few things, the end! I mentioned last week that my birthday was coming up, I think YouTube must have known I was getting older. I’m not sure why, but leading up to my birthday, YouTube kept putting clips from City Slickers on my page. After a few weeks,

What Are My Expectations?

I was driving to work recently, and I was thinking about a situation I had going on. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized that I wasn’t even sure what I wanted out of it. I had spent lots of time thinking about the process, but no time at all on the ending result. I think the whole time I was thinking that once I started, I would start thinking about the end results, but here I was right in the middle of it all with absolutely no expectations. As I was gathering my thoughts, more situations started coming to mind where I had no idea what my expectations were. I was on my way to work, did I know what I needed to do to make it a successful day?

Knocked Out and Getting Up!

I think I’ve mentioned this quote before, but I want to say it again. It was overused for a while, so I stayed away from it. The great Mike Tyson was quoted as saying “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth”. I can’t remember when or where I first heard that, but I loved it the second I heard it. It just made sense to me. Everyone seems ready for whatever is going to happen, until it actually happens. When things are easy, everyone acts like a winner. They act like nothing can stop them, until something shows up and gets in their way. Sometimes, it’s the smallest things that can derail us. But what happens if Tyson does punch us in the mouth.

Surviving the Storm

I sat at the edge of the bed, it was time to leave for work, but I didn’t want to go. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I reached for my phone to send a text message to say I wasn’t coming in. A voice in my head told me I needed to try. I told my son I would stop by after work, and I had a long weekend coming up. If I could just survive the next twelve to fourteen hours, I would be ok. The month had started with my wife being sick. I’m not sure what’s been going around, but this was the type of sickness that stuck around for three to four weeks. We have an outdoor cat that goes into the garage every night, most of the time she’s gone all day, but when it gets dark out, she comes home and sleeps all night in a workshop we have in the garage. One night, she just didn’t show back up.

The Four Conversations

When I started writing articles, my goal was to help create the right kind of leaders. It didn’t matter what your job title was, I wanted people to see that almost everyone can be a leader. Most people are leaders even if they don’t want to be one or don’t think that they are one. If you are someone that people look to for advice, or someone that people turn to when the person who is usually in charge isn’t there, you are a leader. If you are a parent, you are a leader. If you have a sibling, you are a leader. Over the years, what I saw way too often was the people who most people referred to as leaders, I didn’t want to be.

The Architect

Last week when I was telling the story of Buck Showalter, I said that he waited two and a half years from the time he was hired to the time he managed his first game. I said that even though he wasn’t wanted anymore by one team, he would be the architect of another team. As I was writing that article, I kept thinking about the word “architect”. What if we would just stop for a moment and think about two years into the future. If you stay on the same path, what do you see? Are you still working at the same job? Are you still in the same physical shape? What is your greatest weakness right now? Do you still have it?

Looking Ahead

It was October of 1995; the Yankees had just suffered one of the most devasting playoff losses in franchise history. I was eighteen years old, and I’m sure I cried. I waited my whole life to watch the Yankees in the playoffs, this wasn’t what I was expecting. I didn’t know it at the moment, but everything was going to change. My favorite player, the player I grew up watching and wanting to be like would be retiring.

Now It’s Time to Get Up

When I first moved out on my own, I lived in a house where the washer and dryer were downstairs in an unfinished basement. The floorplan of the basement was different. You went down the stairs and as soon as you got to the last step, you had a wall about two feet in front of you. The wall really wasn’t an issue unless you had to carry something big down the stairs. One day I was in a hurry and rushed down the stairs, I took a quick right and after that I have no idea what happened. One minute I was rushing down the stairs, the next minute I had slipped and was on the ground.

The Cart Before the Horse

If you took a few minutes to dream big, what would you dream of? I think too often we think about what the results bring us. We look into the future, and we see money, or maybe we don’t see the money, but we see that we don’t have to worry about money anymore. No need to balance a checking account, the money is always there. We can see a nice house, or a nice vacation.

The Smoke & The Wall

In case I don’t mention him by name enough, the podcast that I listen to the most is the Ed Mylett podcast. I start off with that because once again I am going to be pulling from something he said. I think I’ve said this before but when I read a book or listen to a podcast or anything else, my goal isn’t to take from the whole entire thing. If you read a good size book or listen to a longer podcast, you understand that it has a lot of filler things. A book has to be a certain length, and most people have podcasts that last the same amount of time every single time. So, my goal is to just find a small nugget from what I am reading or listening to. So, this is my nugget from one of the episodes of the Ed Mylett podcast last week.

What’s Holding You Back

I’m going to assume that everyone knows something that they want. For most people it seems that they want to improve something. They want to get healthier or make more money. In a lot of cases, we even have some sort of a game plan to get what we want. So why don’t we have it? Last year we wanted to be healthier and make more money. Now here it is 365 days later, and for most people the needle didn’t even move at all. If you know what you want and you also have a game plan to get it, what’s holding you back?

The Conversation

Life Decisions at 35,000 Feet

I saw a video this week where a man was talking about an experience his friend had. His friend was flying on a plane when suddenly both engines stopped. The plane starts going down, and suddenly everyone in the plane splits into two groups. The first group starts to pray and praise God. In the second group, all you here is a bunch of yelling and profanity. It felt like forever, but after a few minutes both engines started back up and they landed safely. Once everything was over, the man’s friend had time to look back at the situation and analyze how everyone reacted. He called it the choice of praise or profanity.

Origin Story

Hearing an origin story seems to be one of those things that goes in spurts. For three or four months it’s all you hear about, and then you go a year without the word coming up again. I used to think that an origin story was where you were born and the area you grew up. My thoughts on that have changed over the years. But, if it’s not that, then what is an origin story? I didn’t look up the proper definition, but to me, it’s the training and failures you had that got you to where you are today.

Why Those Two Things?

I Said I’d Never Do It

It had been all over the news leading up to this, but the date was finally here, it was September 11, 2011. I didn’t understand all the publicity it was getting. Who would want to watch a movie about losing. That’s what the movie represented to me. They should have just called it Titanic 2. Everyone knew how the story ended, and no one lived happily ever after. I’m sure you can guess, but yes, I am talking about the movie Moneyball. The story of the Oakland A’s in the early 2000’s and how they changed the game of baseball.

My Identity in the Rough Terrain

A few weeks ago, I spoke about identity and who I am. Shortly after writing that I heard someone say on a podcast that you can’t outperform your identity. When I heard that I kind of froze. I kept saying it over and over again, trying to process it. It was simple but challenging. If I think I am a “B” student and nothing better, than getting an “A” is impossible. That makes complete sense to me, I always thought I was an average student. So, I was content with getting just a “C” in almost every class. But school was many, many years ago, so what does that mean for today?

Leaning on my Five

Last week was a crazy week! I don’t even think I can list everything that happened, but I will go through a few highlights. My brother-in-law had to go to the emergency room because he was hurt while hunting, I had a doctor’s appointment, I’m starting to show some signs of my side effects coming back from my medicine, work has been flipped upside and spun all over the place, and my truck is broken. Again, these are the highlights, not everything.

Break it Down

I’ve been looking very far ahead in the future lately. What do I want to be doing a year from now? What will have to happen in the next twelve months for me to look back and be happy about the previous twelve months? This time of year, this isn’t an uncommon thing to do. I’ve played this game before and lost miserably. The problem I usually run into is that I have goals, but I get off track. Then I try to get caught up and burn myself out

Who Am I?

A few years ago, I was in the middle of a group conversation with people I worked with years ago and people I was currently working with. My worlds were about to collide, and I had no idea what to expect. At the time I hadn’t had a lot of success yet in my new department, so I was excited for someone in my new department to hear from someone that I used to work with about all the success I had previously had. It was set-up perfectly for me, the person who was about to talk was someone that I had hired and promoted. We had always gotten along, and I felt like he knew me fairly well. Then he said something in front of everyone that I never could have expected.

Finish The Job

I have two holidays in my life that I celebrate that no one else in the world probably celebrates. I’ve talked about it before, but the first one is September 3rd. That is the day that over nine years ago I decided to start journaling, and I haven’t stopped since. For me that is what I consider my New Year. The other date isn’t as specific, but it comes around the same time every single year and the crazy part is that I don’t even celebrate it every year. That day is the start of the baseball playoffs. Everyone probably knows by this point, but baseball is by far my favorite sport and the Yankees are my only team.

Mentors, Masterminds and a Mistake

I was listening to a podcast and the guest asked the question, “What if your opportunity comes, and you aren’t ready”? He brought up being an author and getting the chance to be on Oprah, but not being ready for everything that comes with it. Can you imagine having the chance of a lifetime and not being ready? I think most of us have something that we have been thinking about or fooling around with for years, what if our big break finally came and we had to pass?

Three Challenges

When you have done everything the same way for so long, the difficult part isn’t knowing what you need to do, it’s making yourself start to do it. Recently someone sent me a text message, and I just wasn’t ready to respond to it. I think I’m usually pretty good at responding to text messages, but this one was different. I had to really think about what I wanted to say. I couldn’t just go with the first thing that popped into my head. So, I waited, then I waited some more. I had waited so long that now no matter what I was going to look bad. I forced myself to put it at the top of my to do list and I even threatened myself if I didn’t get it done that day.

On the Sidelines, Creating an Avatar

I thought I was ready. I had my plan, and I was ready to change the world. Then something funny happened, pretty much nothing happened. The busy season I was expecting never developed. As I was waiting something else happened. I found myself standing on the sidelines. I don’t want to go so far as to say that I felt like Lou Gehrig, but it sure feels like a twenty-year streak ended. I used to come to work sick. I would come to work hurt; I would come to work on no sleep. Now those days are over. I feel like Father Time tapped me on the shoulder and called in the rookie.

Starting Over in the Fourth Quarter with the Same Exact Team

When I started thinking about what I was going to write this week, I thought of something interesting. I wanted to talk about how sometimes you must win with who you have. It would be nice to change out low performers or replace someone who is going to be out. But just like in sports, once the game has started you can’t add new players. As I was thinking about all of that, I realized that tomorrow is the fourth quarter of the year. We only have three more months to finish strong and set the tone for a new year.

Old Songs and New Challenges

The year was 1989, I was eleven years old. The first quarter was about to finish, and I had spent the last six months doing nothing but listening to the Beach Boys. In July of 1988, they released the song Kokomo and that was the start of my lifelong love of the group. The Yankees finished 1988 nine games over five hundred. I didn’t know it at the time, but they would have a losing record every year for the next four years. That was over thirty-five years ago, why have I been thinking about those two things a lot over the last few weeks? When I started writing these articles, I had a few things on my mind.