Who are Your 5?
The people who know me best know that this has been something that I have talked about maybe more than anything over the last few years. But recently, I have looked at it a little differently. The question, "Who are your 5" is based on a Jim Rohn quote that says, " You are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with". As soon as I heard that quote, I went on a mission looking for my five. The first two were simple, after that it got frustrating. I kept trying to figure out what I wanted in my group of five and then trying to find people who fit those characteristics. I couldn't do it! I couldn't find five people in my life currently who could cover all the characteristics I wanted to be able to cover. Now, I want to be up front, I didn't say, I couldn't find five good people in my life. What I am saying is that I had people in my life who had similar strengths, so I was not getting fed in certain areas that I thought were important. Recently, I have been trying to take a look at the five people I do hang out with the most and what they bring to the table. I also wanted to look at what I am bringing to them. I was listening to a new podcast recently, and the host asked the guest for his definition of love. His answer was kind of long and not at all what I was expecting. He said to love someone they needed to have three things:
You needed to like their personality. He said it takes two hundred hours spent with someone to make them a great friend. So, he asked, do you like them enough to spend two hundred hours with them? Great question, very few people do I get excited to spend that much time with.
Do I respect their values and do they respect mine.
Am I committed to helping them towards their goals and are they committed to help me towards mine.
I never would have thought of something like this, but when I heard it, I thought about it. Do you like the personality of the five people you are with the most? Do you respect them? And last, are you helping them and are they helping you achieve what you want most in life? Here is also a key takeaway, are you hanging out with people who have clear goals? If you are living your life trying to accomplish goals and everyone you hang around with is just winging it, you will start to just wing it. If you want to retire in ten years and everyone you hang out with spends more money than they make, you aren't going to retire in ten years. The other thing that we really have to look at is, are you helping others accomplish their goals? If you wake up every day and you look at your list and all you can think about is what you can do to take care of yourself, you are going to fail. You need to spend time everyday trying to help others hit their goals. In order to accomplish what you want to accomplish, you will need help. To make sure that help is their when you need it, you better start helping others now.
So, to wrap up, Currently, who are the five people who spend the most time with? Is that who you want to be influenced by the most? If so, dive in and make sure you are helping them. If not, figure out how you are going to spend more time with someone else. I'm not asking you to cut people out of your life, I'm asking you to spend your time wisely. Remember, in order to find the right five people, you need to know what you want. Everyone should have 2-3 goals that they are focused on. Some people have goals to save the world, some people have goals to just make it to Friday. Both goals are fine but are you clear on what you want and are you hanging out with people who are helping you get there?