The Elephant in the Room

A few months back, some of the kids visited. It’s not uncommon for them to visit on a Sunday, we have a nice dinner and then catch up. While they were here, we somehow decided to play a game where we asked everyone this simple question, “If you could have any animal you wanted as an emotional support animal, what would you choose”? We had so much fun that I decided to ask other people what they would choose. From dragons to dogs, I felt like everyone had fun. I never want to be the person who asks a question and then puts limits or restrictions on it. If someone said a pink unicorn, I would have let them have it. I’m not the most fun person, so something like this is where I want people to have fun and be creative. For those of you that don’t know, I had two answers. My first answer was a little bit different for me, but I chose a baby giraffe. I don’t know why but watching a baby giraffe spend its day eating and exploring just makes me feel relaxed. For those who know me, my second answer was not a surprise, I went with a large, hundred-year-old tortoise. When I think of an old large tortoise, I think they are wise, and they have lots of stories that would help me out in life. I also see them forcing the issue of slowing down. When life gets hectic, or I need advice, I can go out and have a conversation with my emotional support tortoise. In some ways it’s a silly exercise, but it does help you get to know people. Some people just pick their favorite animal. Others have a crazy reason that really shows their personality that you don’t see on a daily basis. After a few weeks, I moved on and kind of forgot about the game. Then one day I was reading and something I read made me think of the elephant in the room. Suddenly my mind went back to the game we had all played. I saw myself sitting at home with my tortoise. I saw myself going for a walk with my baby giraffe. But neither would be a great animal to bring to work. But do you know what animal would be great for work? An elephant! What a great conversation starter. I could see myself bringing someone into the office to have a difficult conversation. My opening line would be, “We need to talk about the elephant in the room”.  That elephant over there, his name is Charlie. Also, your performance is horrible, and you need to improve. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. How many times are you sitting in a meeting going over something and people are avoiding the real issue? We spend hours trying to find ways to say everything but what needs to be said. The older I get, the more value I see in talking about the elephant in the room. It would be so much easier to have a tough conversation with yourself. I didn’t put out an article last week, all I need to do is tell myself that we need to talk about the elephant in the room. My health is slipping, let’s go see the elephant. Issue with my wife or kids, let’s go see the elephant. I could see myself knocking on my boss’s door and asking if Charlie and I could have a quick talk. It’s fun to think about all the different scenarios where we could bring our elephant. The truth is that it actually reveals how many conversations we are avoiding. I have conversations that I need to have with myself that I keep putting off. I have conversations with friends and family that I’m not super excited to start. When it comes to work, I worry that my elephant would need to work overtime with all of the conversations that I need to have. So, what is preventing me from starting these conversations? I would love to say that it’s because of time off or just bad timing. The truth is that I have made up my mind that some of these conversations are going to go poorly and that makes me feel exhausted. I feel like over the last six months or so, things have been negative for a lot of people. The more I try to make things positive, the more frustrated I get when they turn negative. This is my goal for the week, think of all the conversations I need to have and start them. When I think about these conversations, I need to do one thing, I need to ask myself what the worst-case scenario is. When I do that, two things happen. First, I realize that the worst is not horrible. I see that everyone survives, and we all get stronger. Second, I come up with a plan. I go over all these situations in my head and I answer any questions that come up. Most of the conversations that went negatively were conversations that I found myself not prepared for. When someone finds you in a hallway and starts a conversation, I need to be ready to take it to the office or maybe even schedule something for later. I’m not where I want to be, but I think I can get closer with the help of an elephant.