The Opposite Side of Me

Great leaders make you think, I heard something this week from a great leader, and it had me thinking so much that I decided to write this article, even though my complete thoughts aren’t even finished. A few months ago, I wrote an article called, “One Minute of Weakness”. The goal of that article was to spend a minute just listing the things you aren’t strong at. Say them out loud, that way you can think about them and bring them up before someone else does. At first, this article sounded similar. Then I realized that I was already taking a negative approach to all of it. The leader said that he asks himself on a regular basis, what is it like being on the opposite side of me? I wanted to look at the question from as many perspectives as possible. What is it like to be on the opposite side of me for friends, family and co-workers? Then based on what I see, what do I need to change? Let’s start by looking at it from a friend’s perspective. This one is challenging, I must find a way to be honest about how I am, and what I think they see. If you are my friend, I love to check in, and I love to listen. If you come to me with a challenge you are facing, I want to help you fix it as soon as possible. I hate when I know that someone I care about it struggling with something. I want to take the knowledge I have and help them. The negative is that I have to balance trying to help and listening. Sometimes you just want a soundboard, and I won’t stop talking about how to fix it. For that, I apologize. The bad news if you are my friend is that I never hang out with anyone. I’m always tired and thinking about my never-ending to-do list. So, if you are my friend, this is how I view it. I will love and care for you forever, I will never stop checking in and trying to help you. In thirty years from now, I still want to know how you are doing and if you are ok. The bad news is that it might be thirty years till I see you. I have a great friend, who I love tons. The only time I have seen him in the last ten years or so was when I was in the hospital. I want to help push my friends and get them whatever they want out of life, but I am a horrible number one. I don’t like to have fun, so go out and get some fun friends, then when you need someone to talk to, I am here! As a co-worker, what is it like being on the opposite side of me? This one might be the one that is the toughest for me. The good news is that I will do whatever you need me to do. Again, I will also try and help you as much as I can. The bad news is that you have to listen to all my crazy ideas that I get from listening to podcasts and reading books. The other crazy part is that I think over the years I have created all these rules and ideas about work that can sometimes be very hard to deal with. First, if you are above me, it is your job to communicate with me. I’m too old and set in my ways, I don’t need to kiss up to anyone, so I probably won’t come looking to spend time with you. If you want me to do something, just ask, or text, or email. I will do whatever you want, but I can’t read minds, so you have to communicate. To my peers, I only want to hear about your personal life, after we have started the day and we are off to a good start. At the end of the day, I can love you, but we still have to be successful. I’ve talked about it so many times, I love to win. It would be awesome if all of us had a great relationship, but the first priority has to be success. I don’t mind you asking questions or asking me to show you something, but I do expect you to do the things on your to-do list. To the people that report to me, I love you the most! I want you all to be so successful that you don’t need me anymore. I want you to make tons of money and get lots of recognition. My only question should always be, what can I do to help you? The bad news is, if you don’t want to work, I don’t want to deal with you. I’m sorry if you hate your job, it’s still your job. I’m sorry if you think that you are way too smart to be doing what you are doing, it’s still what you are doing right now. I have no time for negativity. Here is my other universal issue, don’t tell me you have a problem, if you don’t want to fix it. My biggest pet peeve is people who won’t stop complaining about something, but they have done nothing to try and fix it. If you don’t want to put the work in to fix it, it must not be a big enough issue yet. If it isn’t a big enough issue, stop bringing it up to me every single week. Now for my family, this is where I struggle the most. I love my family, and I will brag until the day I die that I have the greatest support system in the world. But for some reason, I keep giving you the leftovers. I try and check in with so many people that I do a horrible job checking in with my family. I spend so much time in other areas; I spend most of my time just missing my family. One day, I will find a way to make money in a non-traditional way, when that happens, I will give most of my time back to my family.

My conclusion

I think in the end, this is what I have learned. I’m nice to have around as a second option. I don’t have tons of time, but I still really enjoy hearing about how others are doing. I also want them to do well. I love helping people out and trying to get them what they want most, but I’m usually only good for advice, I can’t physically help you. I love work, but my main focus will always be trying to improve. I’m spread way too thin most days to be great for anybody. But overall, I’m ok to be around. I do need to get a lot better with my family though.

Focus for the Week

For you – go out and find out what it’s like to be on the opposite side of you. For me - am I ok with what I have found out? I think people feel encouraged and seen from me, but do I need to do better with spending time with people?