Numbers vs. People part two

Ok, now where was I? It’s been a long week, but if I remember correctly, I was just about ready to go on a rant about how important people are. I know that numbers can be motivating, and I think they serve a purpose. But I think the gain is short-term unless you do something more. Anyone can have a good day or a great month, but what about six months down the road? What about when I’m tired or I don’t feel a hundred percent, what pushes me to do well on those days? I’ve heard people say that when people hear a speaker or they meet someone, it’s not what they say that they remember, it’s how they made them feel. I believe that to be very true for me. I don’t know if I can tell you specifics about a conversation I had with someone, but with the people I enjoy being around the most, I always remember how they made me feel. When I walk away from a conversation with someone, do I feel better or worse? If I see someone trying to get my attention or asking for a few minutes of my time, am I excited or am I already thinking about how I’m going to get out of the conversation? That takes us back to our friend Jon Gordon and his newest book. He mentioned two things that I want to focus on for right now. He said that you have to value each other. He said that if you don’t value your teammates, then nothing else matters. So how do I know if I value my teammates or if they value me? This is what is written in the book:

V - Validate

A – Appreciate

L – Listen

U – Understand

E – Empathize

So, the question becomes, if this is what valuing someone looks like, do I do these things? Do I validate people? Do I tell them that not only the work that they do matters, but also that they matter? Do the people I work with know that I appreciate them? Do I listen to them, or is it all about me? Part of listening is understanding, am I trying to understand or am I trying to get out of the conversation? When they come to me with something, do I try and understand where they are coming from or do, I just give them their goal and walk away. Let’s be honest, some people aren’t a good fit. Others are struggling and we aren’t listening to what they truly need. If we can listen and actually hear them, everyone would love their job a lot more. Here is the sad truth, the main reason we don’t do these things as often as we should is because no one is doing it for us. It’s almost as if we are holding a grudge. If my boss doesn’t make me feel valued, then I am not going out of my way to make others feel valued. This leads me to the second thing that was said in the book that I want to mention. I believe deep down that everyone wants a certain amount of praise for doing their job. I also wish that we had many more opportunities to reward people. But I do also understand that every company only has a certain amount of money, and we already know how I feel about pizza parties. I believe that the hardest part is realizing that sometimes positive feedback isn’t coming. It doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t doing a good job. It means that people get busy and sometimes, that’s just not the person’s leadership style. In these moments I think it’s super important to look at something said in the book, Gordon has this to say, “Don’t believe the press clippings, they will tell you that you’re better than you are and worse than you are. Today’s paper wraps tomorrow’s fish”. I hope I remember that last part for the rest of my life. Obviously, times have changed. But as I read that part, I had an image of a young man going around and buying up the newspapers to see the recognition he got. He can’t get them all, but the next day he realizes that someone new is the headline and his recognition is now only being used to keep a fish fresh until someone can get it home. That keeps me humble in the times when I want to be arrogant.

Focus for the Week

People will hardly ever remember what you said to them. It’s like playing that old game where you whisper in someone’s ear and then they try and whisper it in the next person’s ear. I’ve never seen anyone win that game. Usually by the end, not one word is the same. Over time people forget almost everything that everyone says to them. But they never forget how you made them feel. If you can make someone, feel valued, they will work hard for you for the rest of their life. Numbers are important, but this week let’s go out and make as many people feel valued as possible.