The New Trend Everyone’s Talking About: Training Your Nervous System
(And How to Know When It’s Helping—or Holding You Back)
If you spend any time in personal growth, leadership, or coaching spaces right now, you’ve probably noticed the same phrase everywhere: train your nervous system.
The Pattern I Had to Finally Own
There’s a question that keeps pressing on me lately:
What pattern keeps repeating that I haven’t owned yet?
Not noticed.
“Habits done consistently don’t just shape results—they shape who you become.”
The Habit That Changes Everything (If You Honor It Daily)
There’s a question I keep coming back to lately:
What habit would quietly change my life if I honored it daily?
“When everything is a priority, nothing is clear. Saying no creates the space where clarity can finally speak.”
Clarity Begins With Saying No (Especially to Yourself)
Most people think clarity comes from finding the right answer.
The right plan.
The right opportunity.
The right next step.
“Sustainable growth requires balancing ambition with endurance.”
— Simon Sinek
Consistency vs. Ceiling: Why Most New Year Pushes Fade
Every New Year starts the same way.
Energy is high. Motivation feels fresh. The ceiling suddenly looks reachable.
We make plans, set goals, and sprint toward a better version of ourselves—harder routines, bigger
What does everyone do this time of the year? They look back on everything that happened during the year. I want to do something a little bit different, but I don’t want to spend tons of time on this. So, I am going to do what I am going to call, “The Three Headlines for my Year.
Let’s get started, here is the first headline:
Driven When It Would Be Easier to Drift
How to Stay Motivated at Work When Coasting Feels Justified
There are seasons at work when drifting feels earned.
When raises stall.
When leadership decisions don’t make sense.
When effort doesn’t seem to change outcomes.
When the safest move feels like doing just enough to get by.
Live Driven
“The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life.”
— Hal Elrod
I know I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably say it again: there is nothing new under the sun.
If you know you’re drifting, there isn’t a magical pill or a get-rich-quick scheme that’s going to fix it today. Drifting doesn’t end with inspiration. It ends with ownership. When something feels off in your life, the only real solution is to identify the cause and take responsibility for fixing it.
“Your future is built in the quiet choices you celebrate today.”
The end of the year does something interesting to people.
We celebrate Christmas.
We prepare for the new year.
But how we prepare reveals a lot about who we are.
THE FORWARD VIEW: HOW DRIVEN PEOPLE BUILD FORESIGHT
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” — Peter Drucker
Momentum is a fragile thing.
The Power of Consciousness: The Missing Piece Between Clarity and Consistency
“Awareness is the greatest agent for change.”
— Eckhart Tolle
If clarity tells you what you want, and consistency keeps you moving, then why do you still drift sometimes?
Driven Anchors: The Small Daily Actions That Keep You From Drifting
“The simple things that lead to success are all easy to do. But they’re just as easy not to do. The difference is consistency.”
— Jeff Olson
The decision to go from drifting to driven is exciting. You feel a spark. You make a bold declaration.
Finding Clarity: The First Step From Drifting to Driven
Growing up, I hated when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I never knew how to answer. At ten years old, how can anyone know what they want to do every day for forty-five years?
The problem is, the older I got, I still couldn’t answer the question. I just assumed that one day it would all make sense—that clarity would somehow find me.
From Drifting to Driven: The Daily Question That Changes Everything
The declaration’s been made: I’m sick of drifting. I’m sick of being bored.
Now is the time to live driven — to live a life where every single day I know what I want and I know what to do.
This isn’t something I’ll do until my self-esteem improves or until I’m no longer bored. This isn’t a short-term fix to steady the ship.
This is a movement.
So now what?
Before I tell you what to do next, I’ll ruin the ending: every single night, before the day ends,
From Drifting to Driven
A few weeks ago, I was reading a book that asked a simple but powerful question:
“What are you capable of?”
Around that same time, I finished writing The Price of Boredom, and something clicked.
I realized I’m not overwhelmed — I’m bored.
Bored from living a life that’s far less than what I’m capable of.
Off-Season Discipline
It’s been almost two weeks since my heart was broken.
The Yankees finished the year winning eleven of their last fifteen games and tied for the best record in their league. Still, it wasn’t enough. Their season is over.
This marks thirty-three straight years finishing above .500 — an incredible achievement. But in the world of Yankees baseball, if you don’t win it all, the season is considered a failure.
Just Take Action
For those of you that follow me on Instagram, I posted something on Friday about Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins is one of the most well-known speakers in the world. When I went to do a little research on him to post something, they kept talking about how he inspires people to take action. Shortly after creating that post, I was watching videos on YouTube and came across someone talking about what they called MINS. That is short for Most Important Next Steps. They talked about doing things that take only a few minutes, but they build momentum towards whatever is next.
Out of Alignment
If you have been in a leadership role or a management position for a certain amount of time, then you have had a conversation about the squeaky wheel. Everyone has had a conversation about how the squeaky wheel gets the grease. If you aren’t familiar with the saying, the simplest way to explain it is that whoever is the loudest gets all the attention. In a perfect world you would spend most of your time with top performers and people who are showing a lot of potential.
The Price of Boredom
I had a day off this week, and I wrote my to-do list the day before. It had a total of eighteen things on it. It was a combination of things that had to get done, things that I wanted to get done, and a few things I wanted to at least get started. Right away in the morning, I looked at my list and found five things that could be done in less than an hour. One hour later, all five were done and crossed off my list. The good news was that my list was over twenty-five percent done. The bad news was that none of those things were a priority.
The Opposite Side of Me
Great leaders make you think, I heard something this week from a great leader, and it had me thinking so much that I decided to write this article, even though my complete thoughts aren’t even finished. A few months ago, I wrote an article called, “One Minute of Weakness”. The goal of that article was to spend a minute just listing the things you aren’t strong at. Say them out loud, that way you can think about them and bring them up before someone else does. At first, this article sounded similar. Then I realized that I was already taking a negative approach to all of it. The leader said that he asks himself on a regular basis,
Can You Hear Me Now?
I’d like to think that I grew up like all other kids, typical childhood, watching TV and playing outside. I think the same cartoons and TV shows that impacted me, impacted everyone else. But a strange thing happened the older I got. I barely remember ever watching Robin Hood, but I loved the idea of what he stood for.
Sixth Place
The people who know me know that I am a fairly boring person. So, it may surprise you that over the last month or so I was involved in a tough competition, that if I had won, it would have been life changing. It was crazy how much time I spent thinking about how my life would change if I could just find a way to come out on top. In the end, I finished in sixth place. I know what you are thinking, you think I should be proud of my hard work and how coming sixth isn’t the worst thing.
Average at Best
I’m noticing more often that successful people have a theme for each day. An example might be that they only have meetings on Tuesday. If it’s someone who creates content, maybe they only record on Wednesdays. They have specific days when they do certain things; this makes it simpler to figure out what day to schedule something.
Looking in the Mirror
A few days ago, I decided to go have a conversation with someone that I didn’t know very well. Part of the reason I don’t know them very well is because the few times I’ve interacted with them, I walk away feeling negative. They complain a lot, and they seem to think the world is against them. Those are two qualities that I don’t really like to be around. But, if you want to be a leader, you need to spend time with everyone and give everyone a chance. If you ever want to help someone improve, you can’t do it from a distance.
At a Crossroad
Have you ever had a day where you just aren’t sure how you should feel? You look at everything you have going on and it seems both equal parts positive and negative. About a month ago I was thinking back to when I graduated high school. I’ve talked about this before, but I wasn’t great in high school from an academic standpoint. After graduating it hit me that I was going to have to go to college. The big issue for me and college was that I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. The time came for me to sign up for classes,
The Wrong Questions
I’ve heard people say that if you aren’t getting the right answers, you must be asking the wrong questions. I’ve found that when I am struggling the most, I can’t seem to find any answers. So, it would make sense then that when I am making progress, I must have the right answers. I spend a lot of time thinking about being productive and what makes some people productive and other people not even really try. Most of the time I find myself in a world where things are nearly perfect. What would my life be like if I had the perfect job, and I was in perfect health?
30 Days Ago
A few weeks ago, after listening to a few things, I was thinking about where I wanted to be in a year from now. I didn’t spend a ton of time thinking about it, but the thoughts wouldn’t go away. I would think of something going on in my life and I would think about how I wanted that area to be better a year from now. This happened three or four times in about a week. Then one single thought came to me, “how can I be better at anything a year from now, when I don’t even know if I am better than I was thirty days ago”.
Which Building Will You Choose?
I heard a story a long time ago, I knew it was significant, but the older I get, the more significance I see in it. I think it goes well with everything I have said lately about what I want to see in leaders and what I don’t see in a lot of leaders today. We all want to quickly move to the top and collect our money and recognition. It’s tough during the process when we realize how long and tough that road can be. The way I remember the story was like this…
Setting Clear Expectations
In my last post, I made the comment that I don’t like how most leader's lead. I don’t think it’s right to make a comment like that and then never address is completely. I have a few issues that really drive me crazy, and it’s been on my mind lately because I heard someone address one of them in a way that I loved. I’ll start with the one that wasn’t addressed. It drives me crazy when we talk about number one priorities and then we list off five things.
One Minute of Weakness
I know that some people that I listen to aren’t for everyone. Some people have a specific area that they talk a lot about, and it doesn’t always make an impact on everyone. Other people though I really believe were made for everyone. One of those people is Gary Vaynerchuk, or as most people know him by, Gary Vee. He is very blunt, but also says things in a way that makes sense to everyone. If you ever need a little motivation, he’s your guy. Most of the time when I listen to him, he is in front of an audience, and people get to ask him questions.
Numbers vs. People part two
Ok, now where was I? It’s been a long week, but if I remember correctly, I was just about ready to go on a rant about how important people are. I know that numbers can be motivating, and I think they serve a purpose. But I think the gain is short-term unless you do something more. Anyone can have a good day or a great month, but what about six months down the road? What about when I’m tired or I don’t feel a hundred percent, what pushes me to do well on those days? I’ve heard people say that when people hear a speaker or they meet someone, it’s not what they say
Numbers vs. People part one
I love it when I know I am going to talk so much that I just call it part one from the start. I was thinking of doing an article on numbers, I was also thinking of doing an article that was a book review. I didn’t really like how either sounded by itself, so I decided to combine it and just make it a two part topic. I feel like I have talked about this multiple times on every platform possible. We live in a world of numbers; I want to live in a world of people. Those two worlds seem to be colliding with me lately. Everyone knows you have to have both, but what should the main focus be on?
The 15 Year Old Me Would be Proud
I think I’ve mentioned this multiple times, but I don’t really like to be told what to do. I’m sure some of it is a control issue. But I think a lot of it is just me wanting to see what I can do. If you said that I had to do something a certain way, I wanted to find a different way to get those results. That’s the kind of weird rebellious person I was. I still did what you asked for, but I did it my way. For the most part I think I am still that way. I want people to work together to get something done, but I want people to do it their way. In the end, as long as you are successful and you did it legally, why does it matter how?
Pizza Parties, Yearly Reviews, and 3%
One of my favorite employees put their two weeks’ notice in this week. Nothing I could do to stop it. Deep down I’m hoping for a miracle, or at least that they will come back at some point. Sometimes you can do everything you can, but in the end, it just doesn’t go the way you want. All of it has made me think a lot about how most places do business. One of the things that I am most proud of is that at the age of twenty, knowing I just didn’t want to do any more school, I got an entry level job and moved up.
A Time to Pause
Once again, I am going through one of those times where every single podcast I listen to makes me want to stop and think about what I am doing. I keep hearing answers to questions I have been asking or something that motivates me to keep moving forward. While thinking about everything that was going through my mind, I decided that I needed to take some time to just pause and reflect about where I’m at. If I added it up correctly, last week’s article was the eighty-fifth article that I have written for this site. Not a huge number, but a number I can be proud of.
It Takes a Village
I was driving to work the other night, and I was thinking about someone that I needed to check in with, for some reason that name brought to my mind a few other names. By the time I was done thinking about it, I was overwhelmed with the people in my life. It’s fun to talk about the importance of your five people. It’s interesting to talk about expanding that number to include the people you would put on your board or the people you would let sit at your table. But what about everybody else? I remember always hearing the quote “It takes a village to raise a child”.
The Circle of Death
I like to play a game when I am on social media. I don’t know when it started, but lately it seems to be happening a lot. Every time I see an article or a video about things that bad leaders or managers do, I read or watch it. I’m always looking for two things. First, they seem to always say something about micromanaging within the first two things that they mention. Second, they usually mention bad mouthing the people below you and being afraid to delegate. I find that all these things are related.
But I’m Afraid
“Come to the edge," he said. "I can't, I’m afraid!" she responded.
"Come to the edge," he said. "I can't, I will fall!" she responded.
"Come to the edge," he said. And so, I came. And he pushed me. And I flew.”
The Elephant in the Room
A few months back, some of the kids visited. It’s not uncommon for them to visit on a Sunday, we have a nice dinner and then catch up. While they were here, we somehow decided to play a game where we asked everyone this simple question, “If you could have any animal you wanted as an emotional support animal, what would you choose”? We had so much fun that I decided to ask other people what they would choose. From dragons to dogs, I felt like everyone had fun.
Quarterbacks & A Weird Question
Amazon got me again, they kept showing me an advertisement so many times, I finally had to watch the movie. It’s April, that means that the NFL draft will be coming up, Amazon knew this and so they kept showing me a movie from 2014, starring Kevin Costner. The name of the movie was Draft Day. It’s a movie all about the general manager of a struggling football team. The draft is coming up and he needs to make a big splash, or he will lose his job. He has an opportunity to trade up and take the best player in the draft.
Life’s Questions
The year was 1991, I was finally in high school, and I had my whole life in front of me. One of the biggest movies that year was City Slickers starring Billy Crystal. For years, I thought the movie was just a normal comedy about three friends who decided to go on an adventure to celebrate one of their birthdays. In the end, they had the time of their life, and they learned a few things, the end! I mentioned last week that my birthday was coming up, I think YouTube must have known I was getting older. I’m not sure why, but leading up to my birthday, YouTube kept putting clips from City Slickers on my page. After a few weeks,
What Are My Expectations?
I was driving to work recently, and I was thinking about a situation I had going on. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized that I wasn’t even sure what I wanted out of it. I had spent lots of time thinking about the process, but no time at all on the ending result. I think the whole time I was thinking that once I started, I would start thinking about the end results, but here I was right in the middle of it all with absolutely no expectations. As I was gathering my thoughts, more situations started coming to mind where I had no idea what my expectations were. I was on my way to work, did I know what I needed to do to make it a successful day?
Knocked Out and Getting Up!
I think I’ve mentioned this quote before, but I want to say it again. It was overused for a while, so I stayed away from it. The great Mike Tyson was quoted as saying “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth”. I can’t remember when or where I first heard that, but I loved it the second I heard it. It just made sense to me. Everyone seems ready for whatever is going to happen, until it actually happens. When things are easy, everyone acts like a winner. They act like nothing can stop them, until something shows up and gets in their way. Sometimes, it’s the smallest things that can derail us. But what happens if Tyson does punch us in the mouth.
Surviving the Storm
I sat at the edge of the bed, it was time to leave for work, but I didn’t want to go. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I reached for my phone to send a text message to say I wasn’t coming in. A voice in my head told me I needed to try. I told my son I would stop by after work, and I had a long weekend coming up. If I could just survive the next twelve to fourteen hours, I would be ok. The month had started with my wife being sick. I’m not sure what’s been going around, but this was the type of sickness that stuck around for three to four weeks. We have an outdoor cat that goes into the garage every night, most of the time she’s gone all day, but when it gets dark out, she comes home and sleeps all night in a workshop we have in the garage. One night, she just didn’t show back up.
The Four Conversations
When I started writing articles, my goal was to help create the right kind of leaders. It didn’t matter what your job title was, I wanted people to see that almost everyone can be a leader. Most people are leaders even if they don’t want to be one or don’t think that they are one. If you are someone that people look to for advice, or someone that people turn to when the person who is usually in charge isn’t there, you are a leader. If you are a parent, you are a leader. If you have a sibling, you are a leader. Over the years, what I saw way too often was the people who most people referred to as leaders, I didn’t want to be.
The Architect
Last week when I was telling the story of Buck Showalter, I said that he waited two and a half years from the time he was hired to the time he managed his first game. I said that even though he wasn’t wanted anymore by one team, he would be the architect of another team. As I was writing that article, I kept thinking about the word “architect”. What if we would just stop for a moment and think about two years into the future. If you stay on the same path, what do you see? Are you still working at the same job? Are you still in the same physical shape? What is your greatest weakness right now? Do you still have it?
Looking Ahead
It was October of 1995; the Yankees had just suffered one of the most devasting playoff losses in franchise history. I was eighteen years old, and I’m sure I cried. I waited my whole life to watch the Yankees in the playoffs, this wasn’t what I was expecting. I didn’t know it at the moment, but everything was going to change. My favorite player, the player I grew up watching and wanting to be like would be retiring.
Now It’s Time to Get Up
When I first moved out on my own, I lived in a house where the washer and dryer were downstairs in an unfinished basement. The floorplan of the basement was different. You went down the stairs and as soon as you got to the last step, you had a wall about two feet in front of you. The wall really wasn’t an issue unless you had to carry something big down the stairs. One day I was in a hurry and rushed down the stairs, I took a quick right and after that I have no idea what happened. One minute I was rushing down the stairs, the next minute I had slipped and was on the ground.
The Cart Before the Horse
If you took a few minutes to dream big, what would you dream of? I think too often we think about what the results bring us. We look into the future, and we see money, or maybe we don’t see the money, but we see that we don’t have to worry about money anymore. No need to balance a checking account, the money is always there. We can see a nice house, or a nice vacation.
The Smoke & The Wall
In case I don’t mention him by name enough, the podcast that I listen to the most is the Ed Mylett podcast. I start off with that because once again I am going to be pulling from something he said. I think I’ve said this before but when I read a book or listen to a podcast or anything else, my goal isn’t to take from the whole entire thing. If you read a good size book or listen to a longer podcast, you understand that it has a lot of filler things. A book has to be a certain length, and most people have podcasts that last the same amount of time every single time. So, my goal is to just find a small nugget from what I am reading or listening to. So, this is my nugget from one of the episodes of the Ed Mylett podcast last week.
What’s Holding You Back
I’m going to assume that everyone knows something that they want. For most people it seems that they want to improve something. They want to get healthier or make more money. In a lot of cases, we even have some sort of a game plan to get what we want. So why don’t we have it? Last year we wanted to be healthier and make more money. Now here it is 365 days later, and for most people the needle didn’t even move at all. If you know what you want and you also have a game plan to get it, what’s holding you back?
The Conversation
Life Decisions at 35,000 Feet
I saw a video this week where a man was talking about an experience his friend had. His friend was flying on a plane when suddenly both engines stopped. The plane starts going down, and suddenly everyone in the plane splits into two groups. The first group starts to pray and praise God. In the second group, all you here is a bunch of yelling and profanity. It felt like forever, but after a few minutes both engines started back up and they landed safely. Once everything was over, the man’s friend had time to look back at the situation and analyze how everyone reacted. He called it the choice of praise or profanity.
Origin Story
Hearing an origin story seems to be one of those things that goes in spurts. For three or four months it’s all you hear about, and then you go a year without the word coming up again. I used to think that an origin story was where you were born and the area you grew up. My thoughts on that have changed over the years. But, if it’s not that, then what is an origin story? I didn’t look up the proper definition, but to me, it’s the training and failures you had that got you to where you are today.
Why Those Two Things?
I Said I’d Never Do It
It had been all over the news leading up to this, but the date was finally here, it was September 11, 2011. I didn’t understand all the publicity it was getting. Who would want to watch a movie about losing. That’s what the movie represented to me. They should have just called it Titanic 2. Everyone knew how the story ended, and no one lived happily ever after. I’m sure you can guess, but yes, I am talking about the movie Moneyball. The story of the Oakland A’s in the early 2000’s and how they changed the game of baseball.
My Identity in the Rough Terrain
A few weeks ago, I spoke about identity and who I am. Shortly after writing that I heard someone say on a podcast that you can’t outperform your identity. When I heard that I kind of froze. I kept saying it over and over again, trying to process it. It was simple but challenging. If I think I am a “B” student and nothing better, than getting an “A” is impossible. That makes complete sense to me, I always thought I was an average student. So, I was content with getting just a “C” in almost every class. But school was many, many years ago, so what does that mean for today?
Leaning on my Five
Last week was a crazy week! I don’t even think I can list everything that happened, but I will go through a few highlights. My brother-in-law had to go to the emergency room because he was hurt while hunting, I had a doctor’s appointment, I’m starting to show some signs of my side effects coming back from my medicine, work has been flipped upside and spun all over the place, and my truck is broken. Again, these are the highlights, not everything.
Break it Down
I’ve been looking very far ahead in the future lately. What do I want to be doing a year from now? What will have to happen in the next twelve months for me to look back and be happy about the previous twelve months? This time of year, this isn’t an uncommon thing to do. I’ve played this game before and lost miserably. The problem I usually run into is that I have goals, but I get off track. Then I try to get caught up and burn myself out
Who Am I?
A few years ago, I was in the middle of a group conversation with people I worked with years ago and people I was currently working with. My worlds were about to collide, and I had no idea what to expect. At the time I hadn’t had a lot of success yet in my new department, so I was excited for someone in my new department to hear from someone that I used to work with about all the success I had previously had. It was set-up perfectly for me, the person who was about to talk was someone that I had hired and promoted. We had always gotten along, and I felt like he knew me fairly well. Then he said something in front of everyone that I never could have expected.
Finish The Job
I have two holidays in my life that I celebrate that no one else in the world probably celebrates. I’ve talked about it before, but the first one is September 3rd. That is the day that over nine years ago I decided to start journaling, and I haven’t stopped since. For me that is what I consider my New Year. The other date isn’t as specific, but it comes around the same time every single year and the crazy part is that I don’t even celebrate it every year. That day is the start of the baseball playoffs. Everyone probably knows by this point, but baseball is by far my favorite sport and the Yankees are my only team.
Mentors, Masterminds and a Mistake
I was listening to a podcast and the guest asked the question, “What if your opportunity comes, and you aren’t ready”? He brought up being an author and getting the chance to be on Oprah, but not being ready for everything that comes with it. Can you imagine having the chance of a lifetime and not being ready? I think most of us have something that we have been thinking about or fooling around with for years, what if our big break finally came and we had to pass?
Three Challenges
When you have done everything the same way for so long, the difficult part isn’t knowing what you need to do, it’s making yourself start to do it. Recently someone sent me a text message, and I just wasn’t ready to respond to it. I think I’m usually pretty good at responding to text messages, but this one was different. I had to really think about what I wanted to say. I couldn’t just go with the first thing that popped into my head. So, I waited, then I waited some more. I had waited so long that now no matter what I was going to look bad. I forced myself to put it at the top of my to do list and I even threatened myself if I didn’t get it done that day.
On the Sidelines, Creating an Avatar
I thought I was ready. I had my plan, and I was ready to change the world. Then something funny happened, pretty much nothing happened. The busy season I was expecting never developed. As I was waiting something else happened. I found myself standing on the sidelines. I don’t want to go so far as to say that I felt like Lou Gehrig, but it sure feels like a twenty-year streak ended. I used to come to work sick. I would come to work hurt; I would come to work on no sleep. Now those days are over. I feel like Father Time tapped me on the shoulder and called in the rookie.
Starting Over in the Fourth Quarter with the Same Exact Team
When I started thinking about what I was going to write this week, I thought of something interesting. I wanted to talk about how sometimes you must win with who you have. It would be nice to change out low performers or replace someone who is going to be out. But just like in sports, once the game has started you can’t add new players. As I was thinking about all of that, I realized that tomorrow is the fourth quarter of the year. We only have three more months to finish strong and set the tone for a new year.
Old Songs and New Challenges
The year was 1989, I was eleven years old. The first quarter was about to finish, and I had spent the last six months doing nothing but listening to the Beach Boys. In July of 1988, they released the song Kokomo and that was the start of my lifelong love of the group. The Yankees finished 1988 nine games over five hundred. I didn’t know it at the time, but they would have a losing record every year for the next four years. That was over thirty-five years ago, why have I been thinking about those two things a lot over the last few weeks? When I started writing these articles, I had a few things on my mind.